Beatrice King on Coming Home to Herself in You Are the Blue

Mixed Asian Media - November 2, 2023

By Angela Wong Carbone

When Beatrice King found herself struggling with an autoimmune illness, she turned to poetry and piano to heal. King sat down with Mixed Asian Media’s Angela Wong Carbone to speak about how her words and music evolved into the synesthetic short film, You Are the Blue, and what she hopes to accomplish in her latest artistic awakening.   

*THIS INTERVIEW HAS BEEN EDITED FOR CLARITY AND LENGTH.

This is your directorial debut, right? And it centers on Kay, who is dealing with an autoimmune illness. 

Yeah! The subject matter isn't just one thing. I wanted to focus on identity. It goes into elements of having an invisible illness. With autoimmune diseases, there are so many overlaps within the community's experiences that I  wanted to touch on those themes in relation to identity.

You wrote the script. Was it inspired by personal experience?

I was struggling with an autoimmune disease and I turned to any [emotional] representation of it that I could find in film for solace. And I couldn't find anything that captured that experience. So I spent almost a year writing poetry to start a healing process. Writing poetry, I knew there was a story I wanted to tell because it could connect the millions of people struggling with similar health conditions. It's a story about something out of your control, especially for young people who feel defined by their ability.

The illness keeps the main character, Kay (played by Eden Summer Gilmore), from many parts of her life. Yet it’s dismissed by her sister when she says, “It’s just hair.” In my experience of autoimmune illness, you could look healthy yet it’s completely debilitating. 

How did you capture that experience? 

I wanted to capture the challenges in seeing yourself a certain way day-to-day when you are healthy and when that starts to change. Things become unpredictable when that person you are staring at in the mirror isn't reflecting health or who you want to be. I wanted to provide hope during those moments where you're going through such a period of darkness and you can't quite find any firm grounding of who you are.

That element of hope is important because it's easy to lose yourself in what you're going through or the struggles that you might be experiencing health-wise, especially if other people don't really see it. It's challenging because on one hand you want to be treated like a human being, you're not seeking pity. But on the other side, you are looking to feel validated in your experience.

Autoimmune illness is tricky to understand. The cause may be unknown or the causality between treatment and recovery can be elusive. You said that you began healing through poetry. How did the script evolve from poetry? 

After writing a lot of poetry, I turned to writing music. I had resumed playing piano after a really long hiatus. I grew up with a very regimented [practice of] piano playing where I had to go through the Royal Conservatory and pass all these exams and it was really high pressure for me.

I quit cold turkey and when I came back to playing it for the first time, I said, “This is just going to be for me.” No one needs to hear it. I think that really helped with the story elements because I wanted to capture the sound first.

Then a lot of the visuals started coming together. The ocean elements come from the music.

Not all of us start out playing a musical instrument because we want to be playing it, but rather because somebody else wants us to play. I'm glad that you were able to reclaim playing for yourself.

How do you think about identity as someone with an acute artistic and emotional sensibility?

I always knew that I was different growing up. It was hard for me to figure out why and to find that sense of belonging in a town where the only other Chinese person is your mom.

In the film, it's a journey of finding who you are within yourself, that you don't have to allow people to define you. You get to carve that path for yourself and come home within your body. Working as an actor, they really like to put you in a box and [compel you to hit] some sort of checklist. If you allow it, you can lose a part of yourself because you're so busy worrying about that.

This film helped me step into the artist that I want to be and granting myself the permission to tell this story.

Were any aspects of the film more challenging or exciting?

I was really excited to dive into post-production. I'd had so much experience as an actor and acting coach; I'd been a part of all these large productions for Netflix, Disney, and Universal. Sitting down with the composer and the sound designer and going through the [post team's] artistic process was exciting because they’re masters in their craft and their work shapes your story.

What do you hope to do after this as a growing creative voice?

I am currently developing my feature film. I hope to continue to highlight underrepresented communities in ways that have never been done before.

[In YATB,] mixed-Asian actors Connor Wong and Kristina Lao play Aiden and dance instructor Ms. Jones. Having mixed-Asian actors on screen is important because we need our wants, hopes, and dreams represented.

I also have a company, King & Kot Creatives, where I coach adult and primarily young actors. I had been coaching [Eden] since she was 11 years old and when we shot she was the perfect age for Kay. Everything lined up for us to be able to work together.

Is there anything else that you want to add? 

I think being a mixed-Asian artist has taught me to not allow others to define who I am and find what you align with and follow your own joy, no matter what.

Life has elements of darkness and lightness to them, and they go hand in hand. With the film, I really set out to take the audience on a ride [along life's] ebb and flow.

You Are the Blue screened at the Edmonton Short Film Festival on October 15, 2023, and will be screening again at the Vancouver Asian Film Festival’s West Coast Shorts Program on November 5, 2023. You can follow the film’s updates at www.youaretheblue.com.

Angela Wong Carbone (she/her) is a decorated actor and writer. Her writing has been recognized by AT&T Hello Lab, Hillman Grad’s mentorship program, The Gotham, Slamdance and others. Raised in New York by an immigrant Chinese mother and Italian American father, Wong Carbone’s personal curiosity toward identity saturates her writing and she has contributed to Eileen Kelly’s Killer and a Sweet Thang and Lulu Gioiello’s Far Near. As an actor, Wong Carbone has starred in NBC’s Chicago Med, AppleTV+’s WeCrashed and IFC Films’ Resurrection. In 2020, she was selected for the 19th annual ABC Talent Showcase. Wong Carbone holds a degree in architecture from Cornell University and makes a mean lasagna.